The Interpromotional Takeover
by Mistress K. Darq-Chylde
Summary: What happens when a few fangirls take over an interpromotional show between RAW and Smackdown!? Wrestlers doing things you never thought they would, and hilarious hijinks by your favorite WWE superstars! *rating will go up*
1. The Takeover Begins

The Interpromo Take-over

  
  


Summary: What happens when a few fangirls take over an interpromotional show between RAW and Smackdown!? Comedy and less puppies, of course!

Notes: Um... wrestlers doing things you never thought they would, and abuse of Jerry "The King" Lawler. Also... hilarious hijinks by your favorite WWE superstars!

  
  
  
  


It was just another average Tuesday. To possibly boost ratings and bring in new fans, RAW and Smackdown! had decided to have an interpromotional tournament. As per the usual, there were to be things like bikini matches, paddle on a pole matches, tag team matches, and other such chaotically fun things.

Unbeknownst to fans of WWE the world over, tonight was no longer going to be as normal and average as they expected it to be. Things were about to change... DRASTICALLY...

  
  
  
  


And so... it begins...

"Quick! Get him now!" she said hurriedly to her friend. The other- shorter- girl in question did as they'd planned, whacking Jerry "The King" Lawler over the back of the head with a steel chair. The taller girl grabbed the unconscious body and dragged him back into his dressing room. She checked the damage, and it wasn't anything serious. They'd been careful enough to make sure this plan was flawless. Nothing was going to go wrong...

The two girls gave each other high-fives, heading off to take care of the rest. "Hi, JR!" the two girls said in unison as they ran into the Oklahoma native.

"What are you girls doing back here?" he asked, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

"Backstage passes!" they chimed once more, holding up the authentic-looking badges as proof of their allowance to be where they were. 

"Ah, alright then. Don't make too much trouble. And be careful back here, some of those superstars are... a little off."

"JR... can you do us a favor?" the shorter one asked.

He turned back to them. "What would that be?"

"Don't go out and announce tonight, we hear that Bischoff's going to make you and King go in another tag team match tonight, and we don't want you to get hurt. He said that you won't lose your job, so you don't really have to go if you don't want to..."

Tim Ross arched a brow at the two girls and said. "That doesn't seem like something he'd say."

"Look, JR... we don't want to have to hurt you, so stop thinking about it and be glad to have the night off. Head back to your dressing room and we won't have to use force..."

He held his hands up disarmingly. "Fine, fine. If you say so, girls." With that, he headed back into his dressing room, the girls shoving a chair under the door to keep it closed until they were ready for him to come back out.

"WOO!" the two of them shouted, not intending to sound like Ric Flair in the process. 

Phase One of the MASTER PLAN *hears ominous, yet cheesy music in the background* was complete. Heading into the light and sound booth, the two girls gave the technicians there some music to play as they entered the arena and gave them brief instructions about how the lighting should be. They looked a bit puzzled, but nodded, seeing the VIP passes and thinking that they were part of some new gimmick for the interpromotional show. 

  
  
  
  



	2. Who'll Get Spanked!

The Interpromo Take-over

Chapter 2: Who'll get spanked?!

Notes: No, there was no real reason for the abuse of the King. Other than the fact that we're tired of hearing him prattle on about PUPPIES all the damned time, there was no real reason to whack him with a chair. And... I do not advocate abusing WWE announcers with blunt metal objects. So, be prepared for the fun to start! Oh, and if you're offended by the superstars doing... strange things, then don't read on and flame me. I did warn you that this was going to get odd and out of hand, so you have no right to complain...  
  
  
  


The lights in the arena went out and suddenly the song "Brackish" by Kittie blasted from the arena speakers and the two girls who'd taken out the announcers, in more ways than one, walked down the entrance ramp and took their seats at the announcer's table. They both put on their headsets and the light show and music stopped, the normal lighting coming back on. 

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to yet another interpromotional match brought to you by the wonderful managers of Smackdown! and RAW, Stephanie McMahon and Eric Bischoff! Not to mention BOD men's body spray, by Body Fantasies!" This was all from the taller girl, who had an infectious smile and short dyed blonde hair. She looked like a lost member of 3 Extreme, dressed in black bondage pants and a wife beater as she was. 

The shorter girl has hair of a similar length, but it was brunette with blonde streaks in the front. "Don't worry, folks, she'll calm down eventually. She's just psyched to be here." she said.

"Will I really? That kinda sucks..." She laughed it off. "But, anyway! Things here are going to change, tonight, folks! For those of you who are expecting the usual matches, like bikini matches and such... things are different now." She set her feet up on the table, crossing her legs at the ankles and putting her hands behind her head, cradling it as she leaned back slightly.

"By the way, for those of you who don't know who we are, I'm Jenna, and this is Randi." The shorter girl, who had an innocent cuteness to her, said. Their names flashed along the bottom of the screen with the classic WWE ticker.

Randi, the taller girl who was obviously a bigger fan of the WWE waved to the camera. "And so, like I was saying before, things tonight will be very different. Possibly more entertaining than normal, possibly less. In either case, we do have a rather... interesting match up first tonight."

Jenna grinned at Randi and then turned to the camera. "Sure do! It's a paddle on a pole match, but.. instead of seeing the Divas attack each other for the sole purpose of getting to spank the loser, we have a much more... deserving... pair of superstars ready to compete in this match-up."

Randi nodded. "Very deserving. We have none other than..." she paused for dramatic effect and continued with a Cheshire Cat-like grin, "Matt and Jeff Hardy!!!"

The two "announcers" smiled broadly as they heard screams of appreciation from nearly every female fan in the crowd. 

"After this break, we'll see a terrific match! Jeff Hardy verus Matt Hardy in a Paddle-on-a-Pole match! Who'll be the best, and who'll get spanked? We'll find out after this!"  
  
  
  



	3. I want your BOD

The Interpromo Take-over: I want your BOD

  
  


We see several rather sculpted young men on a stage, performing under flashing lights with their instruments. We hear a rather desperate girl in the background say, "Hot bod!"

We have a close-up of the lead guitarist, with chiseled abs and seemingly blond spiky hair. "Hard bod!" we hear another female say.

Close-up of a darkly skinned young man with long dreads and another guitar. The camera pans back over to the lead guitarist, who lifts the guitar off by the strap, shamelessly flexing and displaying his six pack. We then hear another feminine voice, nearly in orgasmic ecstasy, saying, "I want your bod..."

We see four bottles of cologne with the BOD logo on them and hear an announcer say, "BOD. Men's body sprays by Body Fantasies."


	4. Let the Paddling Commence!

The Interpromo Take-over: Let the Paddling Commence!

Notes: Um... I love you all, please don't murder me!

Warnings: Violence, obviously. Paddling of Hardy ass... um... more hilarious hijinks by your two wonderful announcers!

  
  


Randi shook her head as the commercial break ended. She and Jenna looked at each other, and then at the camera. "This interpromotional special is brought to you by, you guessed it, none other than BOD, men's body sprays by Body Fantasies. Well, Jenna, those boys in the commercials may be ripped, but they're certainly no Jeff Hardy!"

"Certainly not, Randi!" The two grinned and the lights dimmed. We hear the true music of fate come on the speakers and Jeff Hardy appeared at the top of the ramp, clothed in his usual white wife beater and black jeans. His whole left arm was coated in body paint, as per the usual, his right arm sporting the holey arm warmer. 

The attention of the announcers was completely on the younger of the Hardy Boyz, watching in slight awe as the young man from the former team 2 -and 3- Xtreme made his grand entrance, with many enticing hip thrusts, among the cheers and screams of the fans. 

Lillian Garcia, the RAW ring announcer, let everyone know just who was entering the ring. "And now, making his way to the ring, from Cameron, North Carolina. Weighing in at 215 pounds... Jeff Hardy!"

"Yeah! Go, Jeff! Woo!" Randi, an obvious Jeff Hardy fan, said after turning her microphone away to spare deafening the people at home who were watching. 

Jenna dumped a small sand pail full of ice onto Randi, who calmed almost immediately. With a glare to the shorter girl, she repositioned her mike and asked, "Was that really necessary? Am I not allowed to be excited because one of my favorite superstars is in the ring?"

"Be excited, not nearly orgasmic, chica." Jenna said with a big, innocent smile on her face.

Randi simply stuck her tongue out at Jenna, her eye twitching as she heard the opening line of Matt Hardy's entrance theme, "Oh yeah!" The older, traitorous Hardy brother appeared, wearing his gold and purple pants and V1 shirt. 

"And now, the most fashionable WWE Superstar, aside from the mutton-chop sideburn sporting Rico, is making his way into the ring!" Randi said with a bit of a laugh. 

Jenna just rolled her eyes. She covered her ears. "Pants...are... too loud!" The two girls snickered and Lillian announced the founder of Mattitude's presence.

"And now, making his way to the ring from Cameron, North Carolina, weighing in at 225 pounds, Matt Hardy, version one!" Lillian quickly made her exit from the ring.

The two brothers faced off and the ref called for the match to begin. "And so it begins, ladies and gentlemen! The Paddle-on-a-Pole match to beat all Paddle-on-a-Pole matches!" Randi said with a grin. "For those of you who don't understand the concept of such a match, it's pretty simple. Basically, the objective is to get to the top of that pole and get the paddle to win the match. The one who gets to the paddle first gets to beat the loser with it. Isn't that fantastic?! Go, Jeff!!!"

"Jeff's on the top rope, it looks like he's going for the Swanton Bomb, already!" Jenna said, watching the high flying brothers attack each other.

Jeff executed the move perfectly, landing square on top of his brother. Matt rolled onto his side and clutched at his stomach in pain. Jeff was back on his feet and mercilessly kicking at his downed brother, who had rolled into a corner. The ref began to count, signaling Jeff to get Matt out of the corner. He dragged his brother out of the corner and pulled him to his feet by his slick hair. 

Matt, in a surprising display of energy, hit his brother hard in the stomach with an elbow, doubling Jeff over. Matt had him now, his younger brother was all set up to be dealt the Twist of Fate. 

"Here comes the Twist of Fate, ladies and gentlemen! This could be it for Jeff... No! He hits Matt in the ribs with a fist. Once, twice, three times! He's free! YES!" Randi said, almost breaking into a little cheer. 

Jenna handed Randi a drink and stuffed the straw in her mouth. "Have a drink and calm down, child." The taller girl pouted, a comical sight with the straw in her mouth.

Back in the ring, Matt threw Jeff into the ropes. The younger Hardy rebounded and jumped into the air, delivering a kick with both feet to the face of his brother. Matt fell down to the mat, incapacitated for the moment. Jeff took advantage of the opportunity and climbed up the ropes, reaching up and grabbing the paddle. He pulled it down and, holding the paddle, jumped from the top rope, executing another Swanton that landed dead center on top of Matt. 

The bell rang, letting everyone know that the younger Hardy had triumphed. He held the paddle up high and rolled his brother over onto his face. He sat in the middle of Matt's back and proceeded to beat the hell out of Matt's ass with the unforgiving wooden paddle. Soon, the older Hardy brother was trying to get up, making rather loud cries of pain each time Jeff pulled the paddle back and hit him again.

Jenna and Randi both winced, saying in unison, "That's gotta hurt..."

After several minutes of this sibling torture, Jeff got up and raised the paddle once more, amid the cheering of the fans in the arena. As he left, Lillian spoke into the microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, Jeff Hardy!"

Jeff made his way up the ramp, but instead of leaving the arena, he walked behind the announcer's table and came down the stairs. Jenna elbowed Randi in the side and she turned around. "Hi!" she said to the superstar. 

"Hey," he replied. "I like the outfit."

"Thanks! Um... any specific reason you stopped by up here?" the fangirl asked, her heart racing from being so close to the North Carolina native.

"Yeah, there is, actually."

"What could this announcement from the younger Hardy Boy be? We'll give you the details after the break!" Jenna said, cuing the camera to cut and head to a commercial. It did.

~*During the Break*~

"So, now that the camera's not paying too awfully much attention, you said you stopped up here for a reason. Mind if I ask what it is?"

Jeff sat down in her lap and handed her the paddle. "Happy New Year's." he said with a smile. 

The girl was nearly stunned speechless. "T-thanks!" she said, wondering if she'd died and gone to heaven. 

"Mind if I hang here for the rest of the show?" he asked.

As you all know, she just couldn't refuse. "Sure! Um.. Do you want a chair?"

"Nah, I'm good here."

The WWE personnel set up for the next match, dragging a rather large kiddie pool filled with chocolate pudding into the arena.

~*After the Break*~

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, you just saw what happened during the break. Some rather... interesting developments have taken place, here." Jenna said. 

"They most certainly have!" Randi replied, a big stupid grin plastered to her face. "The next match will be a chocolate pudding match that pits Chris Jericho against... EDGE! The Canadians get down and chocolatey, after this break from our sponsors!"


End file.
